How to Reclaim Valentines Day Whether You’re Single, In a Relationship, or Anything in Between

Every year, without fail, singles and taken folk alike get their panties all twisted in a bunch and moan about what a drag Valentines day is. If you’re single, you’re supposed to feel lonely and unwanted, and if you’re paired, you’re bound to be disappointed by the impossible standards set by marketers.

Many people even shun the holiday altogether, bitter over the fact that it’s another excuse to spend money. Maybe you call it a capitalist holiday, or a Hallmark holiday. And while the history may be blurry, as history often is, the roots of Valentines Day go much deeper than Hallmark, and in most of these accounts, Saint Valentine is a total badass.

And while it’s ok, and perfectly understandable, to feel lonely sometimes, or disappointed with your partner or your unmet expectations, and completely valid to avoid unnecessary spending if you’re budget is tight, but you don’t have to let a holiday, or societal expectations, ruin your whole day. It’s actually way more punk rock to say, you know what, I’m gonna find a way to make this my own and make this great.

In fact, I’d argue, it’s the perfect excuse to reclaim Valentines day, and make it into whatever you need this year, no matter your romantic situation.

A holiday devoted to all things love is something to celebrate. You don’t have to spend a penny. You don’t have to feel miserable. You can literally spend the day however you want. Make it about love. Make it simple. Make it complicated. You choose.

Make it about love for your sweetheart, your husband, your friends, your pets, your family, your self, your passions, your art collection, your plants, your home, your body, your life. Single? Buy yourself what you’d want your dream lover to buy you! Paired but don’t want to ask for anything? Either communicate with your partner what you want, or make it happen yourself.

Strapped for cash? Don’t spend if it’s going to stress you out! You can still enjoy yourself.

Let’s reclaim Valentines Day. It doesn’t have to be romantic, overpriced dinners and long stem roses if that’s not your thing. If it is your thing, fucking lap it up and enjoy!

If you need to listen to sad music and cry, do that. Sometimes what we need is emotional release. Sometimes what we need is to feel deeply, even if it hurts. This is actually a loving thing to do for yourself.

Spread love. Feel love. The world needs us to put out love to ourselves, to each other, and out in the world in general now more than ever. Reclaim Valentines Day, and celebrate in a way that feels right for you.

Here are some ideas for ways you can celebrate Valentines this year

<3 Create a playlist of all your favorite love songs (they don’t all have to be ooey gooey ones, either. Romantic love isn’t always pretty.)

<3 Buy yourself what you want for Valentines Day. I bought new warm socks, hot pink sweats, and a big fluffy pink hooded robe to die for. It’s getting me through this Polar Vortex.

<3 Eat your favorite foods. You can cook easy comfort food at home or order out. Eat pizza. Or Mac n Cheese. Or order from a five star resteraunt. Do you.

<3 Make it a little extra special. Treat yourself to a delicious coffee or do a DIY mocha at home by adding a pack of hot chocolate to your coffee. Drink champagne! Or mimosas! Or whatever the fuck you want because it’s your life!

<3 Witness and accept the people you love exactly as they are. Tell them why you love them.

<3 Make Valentines.

<3 Deep clean your home and light candles

<3 Get all dolled up, even if you’re just staying home

<3 Celebrate with friends or family

<3 Actually tell your partner what you want, and ask what they want.

<3 Leave single roses on strangers parked cars

<3 Send valentines or thinking of you cards to grandparents, great aunts, or family/friends far away. Or give them a call.

<3 Watch TV in bed with chocolates and mimosas, or your favorite snacks

<3 Take a long bubble bath

<3 do a DIY Face mask

<3 Make some crafts or art in the theme of Love

<3 Take a day trip and get out in nature

<3 Decorate your whole house with rose petals.

<3 Call/ text the people in your life and tell them why you love them.

<3 Look in the mirror, into your own eyes, and tell yourself “I Love You.” Mean it. Vow to live your life loving yourself.

<3 Enjoy all things pleasurable.

Have fun. Do what you like. Do what makes you happy. Make others happy. Give love. Accept love. Celebrate love.

Being single doesn’t have to be pathetic or sad. Having a rough patch or disappointment in a relationship doesn’t mean it will last forever. All love should be celebrated, and if you’re enjoying romantic love this Valentines day, aren’t you lucky!

Happy Valentines Day. Sending you my love <3

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