Let’s face it, this year is tough. Life is always throwing us challenges, but if you feel like you can’t seem to catch a break right now, it’s not just you.
Life isn’t necessarily all about being easy and fun all the time. We know this logically, but sometimes, we can get emotionally exhausted by too many blows, and wonder, when am I going to catch a break?
Perhaps you’ve heard of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. If you haven’t, Maslow was a psychologist who created a pyramid to represent the hierarchy of human’s basic, fundamental needs, and theorized that we can only climb to the next level of the pyramid if we first have our basic needs met in the section below. Unfortunately, we’re stuck at the base right now, because we have a pandemic that threatens our health, safety, economy, shelter, and even puts strain on or prevents us, in some cases, from nurturing close relationships.
Don’t feel bad if you’re not self-actualized, in the best shape of your life, or have a booming side hustle going.
I don’t have a magic cure for what ails you, but I do have a phrase that can help re-frame what you’re going through into a tool, a guide, and to help you move forward feeling less defeated, and more empowered.
I don’t think there’s a way to avoid obstacles in life. I do think we can shift our perspective and not see those obstacles as enemies.
Ok, Ok, what is this fuckin’ phrase?
This is making me stronger.
It’s true. Every time we go through something, we come out wiser and stronger, if we have the self-awareness to ask, “what is this teaching me?”
Of course, you can also attempt to drink your troubles away, and to decide you’re a victim and the world is out to get you, that you’ll never get your piece of the pie, and you’ll stare in a jealous haste as others enjoy their piece of the pie. I don’t recommend this method.
When we tell ourselves our challenges are making us stronger, it forces us to up our game. Think about something that is bothering you right now.
Does it feel better to say, “this is making me stronger,” or does it feel better to say, “this is defeating me.”
Of course it feels better to say “this is making me stronger!” No one wants to be defeated. Why wouldn’t you choose to tell yourself the story that feels better? Why not look at your problems right in the eye and say, “IN YOUR FACE!” as you leverage them to grow, get strong AF, go after your dreams, and step into your full potential.
That’s the thing about stories. We get to choose them. We are constantly taking in information from the world and the experiences around us, and making them mean something. You own your stories. You are in control of how you perceive the information you take in. You get to make up and believe whatever you want! You might as well tell some good stories!
Maybe your stories feel out of your control, and it feels automated to tell yourself you’re not good enough, you’ll never amount to anything, or that you’ll die alone. You have to understand that while those stories and beliefs may feel true, they are just stories.
Feelings are not facts.
Feelings are not facts.
Feelings. Are. Not. Facts.
Feelings are valid, but they are not facts.
Choose your stories wisely. Write them down. Tell yourself good stories every day. When you hear an old story like, “I’m fat and lazy,” notice it, and change it with something that feels better, like “I am gorgeous and capable.”
In the face of adversity, remember to tell yourself, this is making me stronger. Ask yourself how and why, and roll with it.
You’ve made it through every single challenge life has thrown at you thus far. This time, and next time, and the next time are no different. You are getting better, stronger, and wiser every single day.
You are getting strong AF.